


Confluence

by seagIass



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Maybe. - Freeform, More characters added in later chapters, Multi, Polyamory, Slow Burn, Trans Dream, and being gay for sap and george, lots of emotion but really dream just thinking a lot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:49:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29812845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seagIass/pseuds/seagIass
Summary: con·flu·enceDefinition1: a coming or flowing together, meeting, or gathering at one point❀❀❀Dream comes together in some places, and unravels in others.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound/Sapnap
Comments: 6
Kudos: 36





	Confluence

**Author's Note:**

> hey there im glass. this is my fic, and its a lot. 
> 
> part study, part idk, projection? 
> 
> in this fic, dream is trans. uses mostly she/her for inner monologue but is currently stealth and uses he/him for when people refer to her.  
> part of it will be expanded on and worked through within the story as part of the plot. because thats what i, a trans person, wants to explore yknow.
> 
> every chapter i'll be posting content warnings that might be pertained or needed. 
> 
> tws for this chapter:  
> \- minor dysphoria  
> \- minor internalized transphobia

She knew she wasn’t alone. Rain fell but the heat of midsummer had turned the humidity up several notches and she knew even if she went on a walk to try and calm her nerves there would still be the fear and guilt clinging and choking her.

This was silly, absolutely out of the realm of possibility. There were others who felt the same, acted the same and did all the things she did. Padding from her bedroom dresser and to the bathroom she flicked the lower of the two lights and started the shower. She's met, talked and loved others just like her, ignoring the shake of her hand as she undressed and reached over, flicking the light off and stepping into the shower. 

Her phone illuminated enough she could see her own silhouette, music helping to drown the thoughts she had so desperately wanted to push down and quell; but even humming with the music they still came into her mind. Mobs in the night, the lingering thoughts she let out a hitched breath and pressed her forehead against the tile of the shower stall. This had to end some way, every solution her clouded mind provided was tinged with the usual anxiety. 

They would still love her, no matter what, and they’d probably even support her more and yet here she was crying in the shower. Absolutely the worst, she thought while lathering her hair and letting herself fall into the rhythm of a shower. 

As she got off she turned that low light on again to look at herself in the mirror. It wasn’t as bad as others she’s read about, the way a jaw slopes or the barely faint curve of the cheek instead of something more plump. Drying her hair off, wrapping it in a towel she didn’t suppress the urge to look lower than her neck over a prominent collarbone and flat chest. It hurt, feeling so unreal in her skin but she was getting better. She could look at herself and not feel that revulsion today, that crawling in her nerves. After applying a bit of moisturizer and letting her hair back down, the alarm from her phone made her jump. 

Right, the stream. 

Throwing on some clothes she made her way from the bedroom to her office, booting up her computer and scrounging in a drawer for her headphones. it didn't take long for her to boot up her system and log in, smiling at the background photo and all the little icons that surrounded it. One of the last times she saw her friends in person - beyond facetime or phone calls - a convention they crowded and were tugged around. She didn't bother checking her emails or looking at any of the notifications on Twitter, ensuring Discord and Minecraft loaded on one screen and opening her streaming client to prepare to joing the others. 

Making sure everything had been set up correctly as the game loads her hands go into her hair once again, pulling and tying the damp locks behind so her head, allowing her headphones to sit comfortably against her head. 

Just as she logs into the server she tabs and joins the current call on Discord in time to hear screaming and laughter. 

“Dream!” A familiar voice shouts, “Dream you need to stop Sapnap, he keeps killing us!” 

She laughs and shakes her head, unmuting herself and leaning into her mic. 

“Well maybe you deserve it, George.” 

“Dream!” 

❀❀❀

After saving George from Sapnap’s latest tantrum about not being able to cause chaos, they all begin working on a build. It lapses into simply talking and catching up with each other, one of Dream’s favorite parts about streaming when there isn't a direct plot to be done or scenes to move for the SMP itself. She hums with most of what they both say, listening and responding casually to donors and new subscribers just like always and answering most of the questions posed by the nosy and the well meaning. 

“I have given some thought to doing some more merch since everyone seems to like the hoodies - they nearly sold out in a weekend.” She laughs at that, still humbled by the droves of fans who support her, support her friends and the community. 

“Well they’re really comfy so of course they’d sell out-” Sapnap’s blase words making her look back to her screen where the avatar is poised at the edge of the building. Blocks in one hand and Dream can hear the smile in his voice. “George couldn’t stop talking about his when it finally came in the mail.” 

“Sapnap-” The protest came from the man in question and Dream couldn’t help laughing at the exasperation in his voice and the chase that ensued. Even though they always tended to fight and tease one another Dream always enjoyed her friends banter, sticking to laying blocks while they yelled at one another.

For the last hour they've been bouncing conversations but it was easy to follow for Dream. She listened, adding input when necessary but all Dream kept thinking about was simply enjoying this energy. She didn't want to lose them ever, and the thought terrified her.

"Dream?"

Once again it was Sapnap who grabbed her attention and the avatar was standing before her.

"You just kinda drifted off, you good?"

She gives some quick excuse, saying she was watching chat and though it was partially true Dream doesn't say anything more. Thankfully he's already changing the conversation, and Sap's mic crinkles followed by absolute delight.

"I forgot to tell you! Some fucking insane person got me a maid outfit!"

George threw himself back into the conversation, talking about having a stream where Sapnap wears it on camera. Dream laughs - delight and excitement for more streams but her laugh becomes a tea kettle squeal when her friend promises to take plenty of pictures for them. 

They continue building but now it seems they're just chatting more so than placing blocks. George, awfully enthusiastic about the maid outfit, has Sapnap proposing to buy one for him and Dream ignores her thoughts of seeing not one but the two people she's thought of most in cute outfits like that. _Terrible, Dream, come on._

"We would need to get Dream one, then we'd all match--"

She's wheezing her laughter, pulling from the mic to catch her breath and swearing at both of them though the smile on her face betrays her. While Sapnap and George talk Dream reads donation and thanks subscribers, following the chat though even with the timer and bots that delete spam it's quite fast for her liking.

**AdrinaX290 Donated $20**  
_a lot of the smp members have been, so supportive of the lgbt and it makes me so happy. because of you and the community i got the courage to come out! my name is adrina and i love you dream!!!!_

The robotic voice reading out the donation held little emotion but the words struck Dream like a livewire, almost taking her hands off the keyboard even if it meant losing track of her friends as they ran off. She was speechless. As she tried gaining a semblance of composure or trying to find the words tears burned the corner of her eyes.

"Oh, Adrina? Thank you. We'll always support the lgbt community, you know? Everyone is important and deserving of love. Congrats."

She'd since lost sight of George and Sapnap's avatars but her vision was blurring. They were still speaking but things felt away, feeling so far from the screen right before her. As she paused the game Dream pushed glasses off her face and wiped her eyes. Dream had heard George call for her, and she quickly unmuted.

"Sorry guys, I didn't want to cut the stream short, but I have to leave. Thanks for joining me yeah? I know ah--" She nearly knocked her water bottle over and righted it before it toppled. "Sapnap and George are still streaming so give them a watch."

After linking both their accounts and sending those who were currently watching to raid one of them she quickly ended the stream. Once the interface fell away Dream exited the game and backed out from the constricting round of her desk set up. 

She needed to breathe.

Dream left the office just as the pings were coming in on discord and she made her way to the kitchen. Food would be a good distraction, and she hadn't eaten much yet. She turned on music for background while she prepared eggs and bread for a quick french toast, humming with the music. 

Eggs, vanilla, cinnamon and a splash of molasses into the milk and whisked while a pan warmed and awaited a thin pad of butter that Dream let melt. She was fine, honestly. The tears had since stopped and her breathing was even again. As she lay the first two slices of coated bread in the hot pan the silence of the music had her turning to her phone.

George was calling her on Discord.

For a long moment Dream considered letting it just ring and ring until he gave up but she knew George was too stubborn for that. After answering it she rests it on the little island to the left of the burners.

"Hey." She hated how tired she sounded.

"Everything okay Dream? You left real suddenly and didn't answer mine or Sap's DMs. I just," there was a sound over the mic - easily George shifting or scratching at his head. "We wanted to make sure you're okay."

She couldn't hide her smile, a sad thing that settled so warm in her chest. Edging a spatula around the toast Dream gave a small noise of thought.

"I was just having a moment. I'm okay now, making sure I'm eating. I know Sapnap is doing some Jackbox later, I'll try and join for that."

Geroge was silent though she could hear from the other side of the call - across an ocean and so far from her - typing in quick succession.

"Well look at that, looks like I'm free too. Good thing Sap needed another person."

Dream's face began to heat up and she couldn't stop the laugh. 

"George-"

"I want to play with you Dream. What are you doing?"

She tells him just as she flips the bread and it sizzles closer to the mic. George hums again Dream feels that pang in her chest. Want and need, a hunger that food can't quench.

"I want to play with you too."

❀❀❀

They talk up until Dream finishes making her food, a small pile of french toast and sausage heated and coated with a bit of syrup. It’s sweet, but it’ll keep her awake and give her enough energy to get through a second stream with Sap, George and everyone else who might show up. George is a good distraction and he makes it easier to not let her own nagging thoughts get too deep into her head. She has so much she wants to tell him but fear shuts her mouth for her. 

As she sits down, she looks to her phone, to where George’s icon hovers in their call. 

“I’m going to eat and do some stuff before the second stream. I’ll talk to you then yeah?” 

George gives her a humming affirmation. 

“I’ll just message you on Discord if I need anything.” 

But neither of them hang up just yet, Dream staring at the screen while they both fall into comfortable silence. She wishes, somewhere in her selfish heart that she could reach through the screen and touch his face. 

“Bye George,” she leans into the little phone mic as she says it, cutting off any response for the lilt in her voice and when she knows the call is disconnected Dream pinches her own cheeks. A curse to herself, for her crush and her feelings that would likely be rebuffed if she were to ever come forward about it. 

Sitting back she runs a hand down her face, ignoring the sting of stubble and the curve of her smile. But there was time to think about the butterfly swarm between in lungs later. 

🔥: _dream hear me out and dont listen to george you’d look real good in a maid outfit ok?_

**Author's Note:**

> if you got this far and you enjoyed it, awesome. if not then like that's cool too.
> 
> ill be writing more but ive got a life too, so itll probably take a while.
> 
> leave a comment and i might even answer them, unless youre a dick
> 
> btw the title and the whole fic comes from a song of the same name by evan greer


End file.
